The Power of Story
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The Power of Story
October 23, 2011
by Rev. William “Buck” Day
We are going to start of with a little word association activity. What I am going to do is I am going to show you a word or phrase on the screen and what I want you to do is I want you to turn to the person sitting next to you and tell them the first thing that comes into your mind. O.K. The key here is I want your gut reaction, so I want you to do it quickly. So, are you guys ready? Alright, here we go.
| WORD ON SCREEN | COMMENT | |
|---|---|---|
| Mona | How many “Lisa’s” do we have out here? Good. Just getting warmed up here. Good. Next one: | |
| Vikings | (laughter) We have a lot of encouragement going into today’s game, huh? Alright: | |
| Vacation | Alright, next one: | |
| Diet | (laughter) I heard an “oooh,” up here. That is a very good gut reaction. I like that. O.K. very good. | |
| Simon Cowell | (laughter) Was there a “boo” over here? Simon Cowell. Does everyone know who Simon Cowell is? He was originally known as one of the judges on “American Idol.” Now he is on “X-Factor” and some of those kinds of things. Alright, here is another one for you: | |
| President | I heard “Obama” up there but that is about it. Ok. Here is another one: | |
| Born-Again Christian | Wooo, it kind of got quiet. It kind of got quiet. |
Well, let’s stop here for a moment because it would be really nice to be able to electronically tabulate, if you didn’t verbalize it, what you were thinking when you saw that phrase. Because I think it would just be fascinating to find out what people think. If we were to show this to, let’s say, one hundred people who were living far from God what would their responses be? What might they say? You know, my hunch is we may get an earful. We may get an earful if we ask them. We may get some things like “You know, I don’t come across Christians very often but the ones that I have come across, how do I put it, are kind of uptight, narrow, rigid.” You know, or, maybe it is one of those where you say “Well, I went to school with one of them once and they kind of stood off by themselves and they were kind of isolated. You know, they certainly would never rub shoulders with someone like me.” Or maybe you might get one of those that are a little bit more blunt and they go “Man, what a turn-off Christians are. I feel like I am getting judged if I just inhale wrong. You know, they are self-righteous, they are haughty.” Or you know where you get some of those that say “They are simpletons. Christians are just plain simpletons. They are always kind of on crutches. They throw these little bible verses at the world’s complex issues, like that is going to solve anything. Give me a break!” Those are kind of the responses we might get if they saw a phrase like this, aren’t they? Those perceptions may sound harsh to some of you but I think those are the perceptions that are out there in some areas.
So how about you and I maybe trying to figure out a way that we can begin to reverse that trend, to stop the bleeding of the perception of Christians that are out there; so they might begin to have something good to say about Christ’s followers instead. As you think about that you go, why? Maybe. Maybe you think about why. You know it is this idea that we have been talking about over these last few weeks, this idea of God’s heart beats for those who are far from faith. He wants to point them towards faith. I would love to have this ability to strike up a conversation with some folks that maybe are not a part of the church that might be a little different. It might be something like “You know, I can’t say it is true about all Christians but the ones that I have come across, they are full of moral courage. They are full of integrity. They are filled with compassion. They are humble. They are honest.” Wouldn’t that be different if we could be called radically inclusive no matter the background, no matter the preferences in their life? That would be amazing. That would be amazing. You know, Christians, if you think about them, they are the ones we hope they would say are the ones who are the first to the scene when there is a need for compassion. They love, they love people; they love God. They do it well. Is that your wish too? It is for me. It is for me. You know, I wish also that whenever Christians were to talk about their faith, it was clear. They talked about God and they were excited about what they were experiencing with God. They could talk about their own faith journeys in a way that was humble and yet interesting. It was something where someone would be able to listen to it and go “Wow! That’s fantastic. Thank you. I appreciate that.” And that is what we want to look at today. That is what we are devoting our time to, this idea of how we communicate with the world around us. If we are ready to walk across the room, then part of that at some point is to talk about God and to talk about our own faith. If that is what you are thinking about, then this message is for you, as well.
As a starting point, what I want to do is I want to overlay this idea that stories and our words are significant. The words that we use and the stories that we tell have power. As part of that what I want to do is just do a survey of some of the things that Scripture says about words. I will put it up on the screen and we can kind of go through this. This will be our Scripture for this morning and I think that it gets at what we want to talk about in terms of this idea that words are, in fact, powerful.
The first one comes from Ecclesiastes, 6 and it basically says: (Ecclesiastes 6:11)
“The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?”
When words are used sparingly, succinctly, they carry great meaning… Don’t they?
Then in Psalm 119, it says: (Psalm 119:130)
“The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.”
Then Proverbs: I love the way Proverbs always puts it, it says: (Proverbs 12:18)
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Again from Proverbs: (Proverbs 17:27)
“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.”
Then back to Ecclesiastes: (Ecclesiastes 9:17)
“The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.”
Then back to Proverbs: (Proverbs 16:24)
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Isn’t that a wonderful image?
Then finally from Ecclesiastes: (Ecclesiastes 10:12)
“Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips.”
Think about those words—humble words, healing words, wise words, gentle words, grace-filled words. Are those the words that most Christ followers are known by? …that you are known by?
If we are known for being clear and succinct and relevant in the words that we use, I think we can go a long way to stem the tide of the impressions that are out there around Christians. I think there are two primary areas where this really comes into play and that is where we are going to spend most of our time—talking about this idea that words can be exponentially powerful to kind of erode the perceptions of Christians that are out there. One is about how we talk about God, in other words, explaining who he is and what he has done; and the other one is about our own personal experience with God, explaining the things he has done in our lives. So what is God’s story and what is our story? Can we tell both of them well? I think we can, so that when listeners hear them they go “I enjoyed that. I understood that. I even crave that in my own life.” That is where we want to go.
So last week we talked about this idea of “Living in 3D,” that’s what we kind of talked about. If you remember, we talked about developing friendships, the value of just building a friendship; then discovering the stories that they have and then discerning next steps. What we are talking about today is part of that last “D”, when we get to discerning next steps. This is what might fit in there. But we want to begin to do that, instead of just going into a relationship or walking up to someone and saying our piece and then walking away, that is not living in 3D. So if we are going to commit to living in 3D, if we go down that road, I think God is going to open some spiritual doors for us to give us an opportunity to say a word about him and to tell his story and to tell about why you are walking with him in your life and how that began.
There are lots of ways, as we think about God-stories, there are lots of ways to begin to tell God’s story; but if we think about it in a short little succinct way, one of the ways that we can do that is what I call “Do versus Done.” Do versus Done. And Do versus Done goes like this:
It says that we want to try to be close to God, we want to please God so we try to do things to please God, to make ourselves acceptable to God. We think the more that we do or the better that we do them that is going make us acceptable to God. The only problem is that because of the sin in our life it doesn’t. No matter how much we do, we can’t earn God’s favor. Because of God’s great love for us, however, he sent his Son, Jesus. He sent his Son, Jesus, and in his death and in his resurrection, Jesus did what you and I cannot do. So it is done. We are now acceptable to God when we put our faith in God. So it is not about what we do, it is about what Christ did for us.
Short, sweet, strait forward, humble, succinct. That is what “Do versus Done” is. There are lots of different ways to explain what God’s story is in a short way. That is just one of them. But whatever illustration that you use, remember what we said before. Humble words, grace-filled words, healing, gentle, caring words. That is what we want to think about.
We were talking about that at staff this week and as part of it Steve was telling us a story at staff about a time when he was talking with one of his daughter’s girlfriends. As he told the story I thought this is just a great little way to tell the story of God in a very easy, succinct way. So I asked Steve if he would be willing to come and share it. Steve would you come and tell us the story you told at staff this week?
Steve:
Actually it is my daughter’s boyfriend, which makes it more tense… He is kind of a guy that is really, just really interested in Eastern religions and the Dalai Lama is one of the guys that he really upholds and admires. So he asked me, this is quite a while ago, but he asked me “What do you think of the religions of the world?” knowing that I am a believer as a Christian. I said, “Well, first of all, I do think that all of the religions of the world contain truth. There is only one truth and that is God’s truth. Whatever is true is from God. I think all of the religions contain some of God’s truth. You can know a lot about God through truth; but” I said “if Jesus is really who he said he was, that he was the actual Son of God where the very sperm of God placed in a human being and out comes a man who is both divine and man, don’t you think that is how God would want you to get to know him, personally and intimately, instead of just knowing about him—get to know him as a person and commune with him.” And he said, “Oh, so you mean through the religions of the world you can know about him but to know him as a person personally, that is only through Jesus.” I said, “Yeah, that’s right.” He is still not a believer. It has been a while. But he let’s me pray with him now and he seems much more relaxed. So I just keep praying for him.
Buck:
Short, kind of to the point, and got the point that Jesus is the way and a relationship with Christ is the way to go. This idea of letting our speech be seasoned with the things that are important, that we know how to express those. Now that is important as we talk to our friends. Remember, it is not about us converting them. That is not our role; that is the role of the Holy Spirit. God will use us in that process but it is ultimately the Holy Spirit that is the one who needs to move a person into that relationship with Christ.
So simply our role when prompted is to open our mouth and give a tender, thoughtful, clear and passionate understanding of who we understand God to be and what he has done for every person who has ever walked the earth and whoever will walk the earth. That is all we are to do—nothing more, but also nothing less. That is God’s call on each of us.
So if we are to know God’s story, we are also to know our own story. We also have a story to tell. And yes, our story too is a powerful story if we are in a relationship with Christ. Regardless of how old you were when this change happened, hopefully there is something different about you before you came to Christ and now after you know Christ. There is a difference there, when Christ beautifully invaded your life and began the process of transforming you and me in each of us. That is what we want to begin to think about, and the key words here are before and after. Who was I before Christ and who am I after Christ? Because we all have a before and after story and that is what people want to hear. They want to hear the before and after; they want to know how that happened. What was your experience from moving from before to after? What was your experience with Christ? And how has it made a difference in your life?
So as you think about your own faith story, and that is what I want you to focus on now is to focus on your own faith story—maybe a few kind of nuts to help get the process started in terms of just some words that will help begin to quantify your before and after. So maybe for you it was about striving and now you have become grateful. Maybe that is your story. Or for you maybe it was about being self-destructive before you knew Christ and now after you have become healthy; or guilty—moving from guilty to liberated. Fear-stricken to confident. Despairing to hopeful.
| BEFORE | AFTER | |
|---|---|---|
| Striving | Grateful | |
| Self-destructive | Healthy | |
| Guilty | Liberated | |
| Fear-stricken | Confident | |
| Despairing | Hopeful |
Those are some things to get you thinking about your own faith story. Those are not the only ones, obviously, but an effective story has to be just that straight-forward; just that linear; just that clean. As I think about my own before and after story, for me I think the self-destructive to healthy fits in for me in terms of where I was before I met Christ and who I am becoming since knowing Christ.
So as you think about your story, that is what we want you to hone in on, the before and the after. That is an important piece to lay out in your faith story. And if we are going to be honest about telling our faith story, we have to also say that it is quite possible that we can take a few of these stories and as we tell them they can actually derail any witness we are trying to have with our friends or whoever we happen to be talking to. They can actually become ineffective, if you will, by the way we tell them. In some cases they can actually even be damaging. So as you think about what your story is, some of the things to be aware of is that one of the ways a story can really derail is that frankly, we don’t shut up. We are so long winded, we continue to go on and on and on and we give way much more information than the people need. The idea is that we want to tell the story, the before and after, and then leave room for questions. It is O.K. You don’t have to answer everything right out of the gate. So we have to avoid being long-winded as we tell the story. Another way that our faith stories can derail is when we are fuzzy about the story’s themes. If we are going in one direction from self-destructive to healthy, we can take detours and all of a sudden the story line gets a little fuzzy and it becomes a little unclear for us, particularly for the listeners. They kind of go “What? What are you talking about?” So we need to make sure that we don’t confuse the listeners in our story.
Another way our story can derail is that when we lay out a long string of Christian insider words, I call them Christianese, and you use those words and people go “What?” See if this rings a bell: So we kind of string along like, “I have been blessed by the water and I have been baptized in the river,” and people are like “What?” “I have been washed in the blood….” Do people really want to hear that? Is that going to be helpful to them? We know what that means but to tell somebody outside of the faith that “I have been washed in the blood of the Lamb.” They’re like “What kind of strange religion are you into?” That’s the kind of stuff we want to try to stay away from. O.K. The other way our story can derail, and this one is probably for many of us most problematic because it can actually be damaging to our witness, and it is when we play the superiority card, that we kind of look down on people and say “I got my stuff all figured out and I know you don’t so I can help you. I can help you because I know what needs to happen.” That kind of looking down on people will completely turn them off right out of the gate and that is what we want to try to avoid.
O.K. so the video is ready. We will see those last two again now.
(Start of Video) Woman speaking:
Thou shalt also be a crown of glory in the hand of the Lord, a royal diadem in the hand of God. Thou shalt no longer be termed “forsaken.”
Buck: that’s pretty clear, isn’t it? That is what we want to avoid, that kind of Christianese. Here is the other one:
Man speaking:
I pray all the time now. I pray for friends, like you, you know, whose lives are going nowhere. I pray for understanding so I will know what is wrong with people so I can be a lifesaver for them.
(End of video)
Buck: We don’t want to be that guy. That is the guy that we don’t want to be.
So here is the offer I want to make for you. So we will see if this slide will come up here. Yes it did. Perfect. Here is the offer I want to make for you. I want to invite everyone of you to write down your faith story, to write down your before and after story. What I want you to do is keep it under 100 words. It should be something you should be able to say in thirty seconds. O.K. So think about in your own life, what was your before and after experience? As you begin to think about that and process that in your mind, maybe you are saying you know what Buck, it would be nice if I did that, that if I could maybe have someone look over my shoulder and give me one of these (thumbs up or thumbs down sign). Well I want to give you that opportunity. It is your lucky day today. What I want you to do as you write down your story, as you can see here, what I want you to do is I want you to send it to me. If you are willing, send it to me because what I have is a group of editors who have kind of worked through this with me who are going to help you craft your story so you get one of these (thumbs up sign).
So if you are willing to do that, I want to invite you to do that. No Christianese, no 18-page essays, short 100 words, this is who I was before; this is who I am now. If you do that I think we will have the opportunity when we are ready to be able to tell people our story in a way that engages them, in a way that is humble, in a way that is grace-filled. That is what we want to do. (Send your 100-word story to: buck@faithpres.org by October 27, 2011)
1 Corinthians 14:9 says that:
“So it is with you. Unless you speak intelligible words with your tongue, how will anyone know what you are saying? You will just be speaking into the air.”
If I speak in a way no one can understand, what is the point of opening my mouth?
I think that is a good reminder for us as we think about this. Make it clear; make it succinct so that it is understandable. Let’s do that for the One whose name we bear, who has called us to be his witness. That is really what we want to be about.
So send me your faith story. Simple, relevant, and I will have some folks get in touch with you and you can dialogue back and forth a little bit about that. If you will do that I think you will go a long way toward being ready, as it says in Peter, to proclaim the hope that is within us; because that is what he wants us to do.